Recently there was an article posted online in which the author presented biblical evidence for the existence of Satan. As people often do, comments were made concerning the article. Sadly, one man made this comment: “I know he exists; I’m married to his sister!” I do not know this person in any way, but that one comment revealed that something is terribly wrong in that marriage. A man who would say such about his wife definitely needs some work on loving his wife like Christ loves the church, but that would be a whole other lesson. Aside from this deplorable comment, I wondered what his wife must be like in order to prompt such a comment.
Proverbs 31:12
She does him good, and not harm,
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
I’ve studied Proverbs 31:10-31 several times, and in my opinion, verse 12 is one of, if not THE most challenging verses of this section. When things seem perfect it may not seem like such a hard thing to do, but what about the rest of the time? When we are stressed, tired, suffering from PMS, etc., are we given an exemption from doing good to our husbands, and not harm? We know what is the right thing to do in theory, but oh, the challenge we have when life is not so perfect. None of us has perfected the art of being the Proverbs 31 woman, and so what I’m about to say definitely includes me.
There are three main areas that wives need to concentrate on doing good to their husbands:
First, we need to do good to our husbands physically. We ought to provide healthy balanced meals, make sure he has clean clothes to wear, and make your home a welcome haven of rest for him. What husband wants to come home to a house that’s a wreck, food that a dog would walk away from, and the need to scrounge through the laundry basket to find something clean to wear. Have you seen the show 911 Nannies? Maybe we need 911 Homemaking. 🙂
Second, we need to do good to our husbands emotionally. A man needs to feel loved, respected, and appreciated. We ought to study our husbands like a science, so that we can anticipate his needs without a word being spoken, and do all we can to fulfill them. You know that little but powerful member of the body that James talks about – the tongue? We should use it to build him up, not tear him down. Express appreciation for his work, and give him sincere compliments. Don’t air your gripes about him to the world – yes, that includes facebook. If you have an issue, discuss it with him privately, respectfully, and with a submissive attitude.
Third, we need to do good to our husbands in the area of intimacy. We must be vigilant in maintaining our loyalty to our husbands, both in mind and in body. We will not flirt with other men, but by all means, flirt with your husband! It means we will dress modestly. We are not doing good to our husbands if we reveal to others what should be reserved for his eyes only. Do your best to anticipate and fulfill his needs, so that he is not tempted to look elsewhere for fulfillment.
So much more can be said. Maybe I’ll have to do a Part 2. 🙂
Wow, I can't fathom a marriage like the one you referenced there in the beginning! Sad, sad, sad!
Thank you for your thoughts on this. I am really enjoying learning and gathering this knowledge from women who have been married much longer than I have. This is a hard verse, but I'm going to try!!!
Good job, Mrs. Joy! 🙂 I read a book lately that made a good point about that verse. It pointed out that the verse says ALL the days of her life….wait a minute. I don't know any woman that's been married since the day she was born. You can (and SHOULD!) do your husband good before you ever get near marriage. 🙂 <3