I’ve been playing around with the design for my blog. It was past time to get the wintry holiday design off of here. What is ironic is that where we live there is no such thing as winter, but the seasons are so ingrained in our thinking it’s hard not to think of the seasons we know so well, especially when the weather is such a hot topic on social forums like facebook.
In reality, playing around with the blog design has been a way for me to space out a little; to avoid thinking too much. The past couple of days – okay, weeks – have been a little tough for me. When I get too worn down physically, it is so much harder to cope with life here.
For instance, worship on the Lord’s Day is very difficult. The only time there is translation into English is when one of our guys teaches or preaches, and that has only happened once since we’ve been here. So, try as we might, it is very difficult to worship. I struggle with that. 1 Corinthians 14 teaches the principle that if one speaks in a different language, it should be interpreted so that those listening will be edified. We are in a unique circumstance, because we are trying our best to cause the least amount of disturbance to their way of doing things. We have worked and are still working on learning the language, and we do understand some, but there is something significantly lacking when one cannot worship in their native language. There is a reason God commands us to worship together; there is something about worship together with other Christians that independent Bible study simply cannot replace. So, as missionaries, here for the purpose of helping other people spiritually, we find ourselves struggling for spiritual sustenance.
We were supposed to have a “day off” Friday and we went to a game park for the day. We got up at 4 a.m. and then spent 15 hours bumping along all day long, returning home around 8:30 that night. We were chewed up by tsetse flies. The park was beautiful, the animals were a wonderful sight, but the day just wasn’t exactly the most relaxing or restful. We brought stuff to make some sandwiches, and due to the tsetse flies, we could not stop and have lunch. Therefore, bumping along in the back of the vehicle, I tried to assemble sandwiches. Spreading mayonnaise on the bread proved to be a challenge, with a glob of mayo landing in my lap as we hit another bump. I did laugh about it, really, I did!
To top it off, I think that especially the female sector of missionaries tends to feel more alone. At least that’s the way it is in our family. Real, true friends are few and far between, since it doesn’t take long for “out of sight, out of mind” to kick in with regards to folks back home.
Most of the things that wear me down are things that I simply have no control over, and so I need to get over it, since I can’t do anything about it. But there are some things I can do to improve my outlook, and I plan to make more of a concerted effort. A little more sleep won’t hurt anything either.
I very rarely talk about things that bother me. Oh, sometimes I mention the electricity challenges or our water issues, but that’s pretty superficial stuff. For one thing, I don’t want pity or to be patronized. I’m not extraordinary, super amazing or superwoman. I am just like everyone else. Additionally, I am a private, more reserved person and generally just tend to keep things to myself. However, every great once in a while it may not be such a bad thing to let you know what’s going on my in my head and my heart – at least a little bit anyway. The things that I struggle with are things that many other missionaries struggle with also. Maybe, just maybe, by sharing these things with you, it will help you understand some things that we struggle with, and perhaps it will help other missionaries in some small way.
Thnaks for listening.
Thank you everyone for your thoughtful and encouraging words, and for your prayers. They've been a great encouragement to me. I know that everyone has struggles from time to time and it does help to share them with fellow Christians. Thanks again for your kindness. Love, Joy
dearest joy…
hope that your days are looking up since when you wrote this.
you and the family must feel quite isolated at times. i hope that having a computer handy now will help bring you back in touch with those important things that we need~
friendships…support….and encouragement.
we miss you guys and look forward to the day that we can share in a worship service with you!
much love~
chasity
Although we have never met IRL, we think about you everyday. in teaching my kids about Christians and the lives we should lead and in your case the work you guys do as missionaries and how selfless you give of yourselves you all have become very real to my kids. we look at your website for pictures and I emphasize how important your work is and how blessed we are compared to other countries. Thank you for sharing this! Christian love, kim
Thinking of you, Joy, and saying extra prayers for you. Thank you for all you do! We love and appreciate your family so much.
I feel for you, Joy. We worked in Finland for a time. We did not know the language when we arrived. I felt that same "left out" feeling as far as worship is concerned. One of the Christians knew English, but he did sign language for his parents most of the time. We had a worship service at home for ourselves and our kids in English before we went to the meeting place. That helped a lot for me. If the speaker was speaking in Finnish, I just read my English Bible. I know the feeling of being alone also. Hang in there and vent when you need to!
Love you, sweet Mom!
I love you, Mom. So much! Hope to talk with you tomorrow (our time… today your time)! <3
Thank you for sharing your blues with us. It always has helped me whenever I share. We can at least keep you all in our prayers. You are doing a wonderful thing over there. I am sure there are many more trials you face over there that we can't even imagine — and we all know that we are all human and have those times in our lives where we just feel so run down. Bless your heart! I am sending warm hugs your way, and many prayers up to the Father on your behalf. Love you sister.
God bless you in your missionary journey and the different situations that come with it. I really appreciate you and your family's efforts to bring God's Word to another country. I hope you will feel refreshed soon. ?
Oh, Joy, the slough of despair, well, I'm sure you aren't in despair, but a hard moment. Getting more rest won't "fix" it but it will make it easier to cope. Bless your heart. I think of you often. I think most of us admire you BECAUSE you aren't a superwoman–you are as human as we, and yet, you and your family are doing this amazing (to us) work for God. The worship aspect is very hard, isn't it? And yet, your talking about it helped me understand even more why it is so important for folks to be able to worship in their native language. Thanks.
May God continue to bless you and your dear family and coworkers and help you know that many people care deeply about your welfare.
Hi Joy, I'm glad you shared some inner thoughts with your readers. I remember being amazed when you packed up the whole family and moved off to Africa. You and George are doing a great job of walking in the Master's footsteps, and inspiring the rest of us to do the same. But knowing that you have trying times and difficulties too helps others to rise above their problems as well.
With love, Sarah Bruce
I love you Aunt Joy. Let me assure you, out of sight doesn't mean out of mind in my case – I think about y'all all the time. And I will try to do better to let you know when I am thinking of you, and praying for you.
Your strength and determination – in whatever you encounter – have always been inspiring to me. Thank you for sharing your experiences and your heart.