Today’s Lesson: Parental Responsibilities

By Joy, on May 29th, 2011

George did it again!  He delivered a great lesson on Parental Responsibilities.  Once again, he was only able to touch the hem of the garment.  There is SO much that needs to be said on this topic; where does one begin? Here is the gist of his sermon, along with some of my own thoughts.  Children are a gift – a special blessing – from the Lord.  Upon the birth of Cain, Eve declared: “I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord.”  Genesis 4:1.  Psalm 127:3 says: “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.”

There are many blessings that we enjoy, such as food, clothing, shelter which are temporal.  However, children are blessings that will remain.  Each child, a blessing from the Lord, is given a soul that will exist eternally.  What a sobering thought for parents!  Here are some questions that deserve serious attention:
Do I want my children to go to heaven?  What am I doing to help them get there?

WE HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY TO MEET THE SPIRITUAL NEEDS OF OUR CHILDREN MORE THAN THEIR PHYSICAL NEEDS

1 Timothy 4:8 teaches that one must provide for their own family.  This verse is referring to the physical necessities of life.  However, if physical provisions are important, how much MORE important is it to provide spiritual nourishment for our family?  Luke 16:19ff tells of the account of the rich man and Lazarus.  Lazarus was a poor beggar in this life, but after death he was spiritually rich.  The rich man was indeed rich in this life, but after death, he was spiritually destitute -  lost. Which person was most effective in planning for the long-term? Consider the following verses in light of your parenting:

Matthew 4:4  “…It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.”

Mat 16:26  “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?”

This is not to say that we can neglect the physical needs of our children, but we must stress the spiritual over the physical. If your children were asked what was most important to you, how would they answer?  What issues stand out in the minds of your children as family priorities?

WE HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY TO TEACH THE WORD OF GOD TO OUR CHILDREN

2 Timothy 1:5  “I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.”

2 Timothy 3:15 “and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.“

Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

There is a lot of pressure on parents to have kids that “perform well.”  Parents are concerned about their children learning to read at the same pace as other children.  Parents are concerned about their children’s test scores – they’ve got to score big on those ACT and SAT tests!  After all, that spells success, right?  Even parents who have chosen to homeschool because of religious conviction sometimes get caught up in the academic performance of their children, perhaps because of pressure to “prove” one’s ability to educate one’s own children.  Am I saying secular education is not important?  Not at all!  But priorities…where are our priorities?  If your child is a math whiz but cannot even say the books of the Bible, there is a problem.  If our children can quote dozens of movie lines, yet cannot manage to memorize sections of  the Holy Scriptures, then the evidence points to some misplaced priorities.

Although Bible class teachers can be a great support system to help reinforce the truths of God’s Word in the lives of our children, they cannot and should not replace your duty as a parent to saturate the minds of your children with the Word of God.  That is the responsibility of parents to their own children.

WE HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY TO TRAIN OUR CHILDREN HOW TO WORSHIP

The prophet Isaiah had a vision, recorded in Isaiah 6.  The first part of the vision impressed upon Isaiah the holiness of God.  God’s holiness has not changed.  He is every bit as awesome, as powerful, and as Holy today as He always has been.  Parents have the responsibility to teach their children to respect the holiness of God.

            Teaching our children to respect the holiness of God begins by teaching our children how to behave in worship.

First of all, we must be there!  It is our responsibility as parents to make worship a priority above all other activities.  Our children should never have to wonder whether or not we are going to worship!  Second, during worship parents need to see to it that their children learn to respect the occasion.  ALL children will need an occasional “trip to the walnut tree” to impress upon them the need to behave properly.  If parents themselves understand the importance of worship to our Almighty God, then they will find the resolve to train their children to respect the occasion as well.  It’s the better part of wisdom for parents to have their children sit with them during worship so that the parents can make sure their children are behaving.  If there are occasions when your children are allowed to sit with someone else, make sure that person will respect the expectations you have for your children.

WE HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY TO LIVE A GODLY EXAMPLE BEFORE OUR CHILDREN

Have you ever had someone tell you that your child has mannerisms just like you?  Even at a young age it was rather uncanny how some of our children had some of the same gestures and mannerisms as George and me.  It may or may not be a purposeful decision, but you can be assured that your children are watching you and they will imitate your example!  This is a rather scary thought.

When you think they are not watching, they are.

When you think they are not listening, they are.

When you think they are too young to notice, they are not.

“Do as I say, not as I do” is not a Christian principle!  If Momma lies to Daddy to avoid getting him upset, your children will lie to you to get out of trouble. If  Daddy makes fun of Momma in front of other people, the children will not respect their Momma either.  If Momma is in a constant state of frustration, habitually yelling at and smacking her children, the children will yell at and hit one another, as well as hit back at Momma. (Habitually “smacking” children is NOT biblical discipline and is not the same as a controlled spanking.)

Every parent ought to periodically do some self-examination.  Many times those negative attributes which we find most distasteful in our children are the very ones they’ve acquired from us!  The more we, as parents, live godly lives, exemplifying godly attributes, the more we will see these qualities develop in the hearts of our children.  It’s a sobering thought, isn’t it?

There is no such thing as a perfect parent.  George and I do not claim to perfect parents.  As we look back over the past almost 24 years of training our children, there are things we wish we would have done differently.  Yes, parents will make mistakes, but our children need to see that we are putting forth our very best effort to be godly.

Our children need to see that God is Number One in our family.

Our children need to see that we are doing our best to LIVE the sermons that we preach.

Our children need to see that we are willing to say I’m sorry when we mess up.

Our children need to see that we love God above all else.

Our children need to be trained in such a way that OUR desire to please God

becomes THEIR desire.

Our children need to go to heaven.

May 29th, 2011 | Tags: , , | Category: Parenting | 6 comments - (Comments are closed)

And the Bride Wore…White?

By Joy, on March 13th, 2011

A short perusal through history will reveal that the white wedding dress is generally a tradition that has become more prominent only in the last 100 years or so. Before Queen Victoria’s wedding in 1840, most brides wore popular colors of the day. At that time, blue was a symbol of purity, and therefore many brides wore blue on their wedding day. Since Queen Victoria wore a lavishly decorated white wedding dress, trends turned at that point. Fancy white wedding dresses were still reserved for the wealthy; ordinary folks certainly could not afford a dress that would only be worn once. After department stores became commonplace, white wedding dresses were much more available and attainable for your average person, and by 1890, the white wedding dress was the acceptable norm. In the early 1900′s, one might have worn a simple white wedding dress, but have it dyed after the wedding, so that the dress could continue to be used.

Although human traditions come and go, white does represent purity in a biblical context.  Revelation 3:5 states that those who overcome are wearing white, and their names will not be blotted out of the book of life. Revelation 7:14 refers to someone whose garments had turned white, because the garments had been washed in the blood of the Lamb. These are just a couple of verses indicating that God chose white to represent individuals who had their sins washed away; those who were spiritually pure.

What about brides today?  White, and sometimes ivory, are still the color of choice for a wedding dress.  While white traditionally symbolizes purity, the reality is that sadly, for many brides the color is meaningless.  How many young women who stand before God in marriage, have already given away  their most precious gift, which should have been saved for her husband, to present to him on their wedding day? How many young women stand before God on their wedding day, with a child already growing their womb?  In other words, how many young women are outwardly adorned in white, but their spiritual garments are stained by sin?

There was a time when becoming pregnant prior to marriage was shameful.  In fact, many times the pregnant young woman was sent away in an attempt to avoid shame and embarrassment for the family. Unfortunately, often there was more concern about how people might view the reputation of the family as a whole, rather than being concerned with and addressing  the spiritual needs of the young couple. 

In this day and age, we’ve had a huge shift in thinking, including in the church. Let me be clear: forgiveness certainly needs to be extended towards those who demonstrate repentance. Young people need to be encouraged and supported as they deal with the consequences of their sin.  The child brought into the world is completely innocent and in no way should that child be held responsible or punished because of the sin of his or her parents.

However, it is not appropriate to minimize the seriousness of the sin and turn it into a celebratory event, complete with baby showers and a constant stream of  “Congratulations..I’m SO happy for you!”  On one occasion, a mother who had recently had her third child related to me how much fun it was to go through pregnancy together with a young unwed mother in the congregation.  On another occasion, I witnessed a quick walk to the front pew to make the obligatory confession, and then by the next service, the unwed mother was proudly rubbing her belly.  On yet another occasion, I was aware of a young woman who became pregnant, and in no uncertain terms let her friends know that she and her boyfriend were happy about it, and furthermore, she did not want any negative feedback. She professed to be a Christian. Somewhere along the way something has become very skewed. 

Both men and women, young and old, will be held accountable for their own choices.  To those who are older and ought to be wiser, what are WE doing to help our young people adhere to biblical standards?  Are we helping them or hindering them? Are we setting an example of purity? Are we teaching them? Do we hold them accountable for their sins or do we reward them? 

When it comes down to it, the actual color of your dress on your wedding day is rather inconsequential.  Colors have meant different things throughout the ages, and to this day they still symbolize different things in different cultures.  What really matters? The color of your spiritual garment. Your purity. Determine that no matter what, you will save your gift and give it only to your husband, after you are married. However, if you have given away your gift but you are not yet married, do not despair.  Through genuine repentance, your tainted garment can be restored to white once again.

What will be the color of your spiritual garment 
on your wedding day?
March 13th, 2011 | Tags: , | Category: Bible, Courtship, Parenting | 4 comments - (Comments are closed)

Principles for Successful Motherhood, Part 7

By Joy, on November 8th, 2010

In this final article of this series, I want to focus on the fact that there are differences between males and females, and we need to appreciate that God designed it that way.  In other words: Sons and Daughters: Recognize Their Differences.  As we bring up our children, we need to let our boys be boys and let our girls be girls.

Boys need to spend time with their dads to learn how to be men. While moms do play a very important part in training their sons, the dad is one who will show his sons how to be a man. Our sons need male examples to learn leadership skills, so that they will learn to be effective leaders of their own families and leaders in the church. Boys need to be able to climb and explore and get dirty.  Don’t let your fears of them getting hurt get in the way. (within reason – :) )  Bad behavior should not be passed over by saying: “boys will be boys.” Boys need to be taught to use their strength properly, and not abuse it. We need to teach them how to treat females, starting with their sisters and mother.  Boys need to be taught modesty and the importance of refraining from crudeness. While it ought not be their primary work, boys do need to learn how to wash dishes, do a load of laundry, and cook a decent meal.  It will serve them well if they are equipped to take care of basic needs, so that they do look like a rumpled mess when they need to take care of themselves.

http://blog.thevintageworkshop.com/?cat=23

We need to cultivate in our girls the desire to be feminine, but not prissy.  We should teach them to dress like a girl, and to look like a girl. I find it sad when little girls look so generic that one wonders if they are a boy or a girl. Our girls also need to be okay with getting dirty sometimes. We must teach them to be modest, both in dress and in behavior. They need to learn that it is not acceptable to cry and whine in order to manipulate others. and that although hormones do make life difficult at times, they cannot be used to excuse sinful behavior.  They should learn that flirtatious behavior is not appropriate. Girls need to develop homemaking skills to enable them to organize and run their own home, so that they are well-prepared when they marry. Learning some basic home repair skills wouldn’t be a bad idea either. Who is the primary role model from whom our daughters will learn these things?  I don’t know about you, but for me, that causes me to give serious reflection about the example I’m setting for my
children.

Wrapping It Up
I’d like to close this series of lessons with a quote from a book called Homemaking, written by J.R. Miller:
“Oh that God would give every mother a vision
of the glory and splendor of the work that is given to her 
when a babe is place in her bosom to be nursed and trained! 
Could she have but one glimpse in to the future 
of that life as it reaches on into eternity; 
could she look into it’s soul to see its possibilities; 
could she be made to understand her own personal responsibility 
for the training of this child,
for the development of its life, and for its destiny,–
she would see that in all God’s world 
there is no other work so noble and so worthy of her best powers, 
and she would commit to no others hands the sacred and holy trust given to her.”
***************************************
Select a Godly Man
Understand Your Role
Cherish Your Children
Christ-Centered Home 
Exercise Discipline
Safe Haven
Sons and Daughters:  Recognize Their Differences
November 8th, 2010 | Tags: , | Category: Bible, Family, Parenting, Uncategorized | Comments are closed

Principles for Successful Motherhood, Part 6

By Joy, on November 4th, 2010

In Numbers 35 we read that God instructed the Israelites to designate six cities as cities of refuge.  If an individual killed someone without intending to, that person could flee to one of these cities and would be safe from those who might try to retaliate.  The manslayer would be protected from harm as long as he stayed in the city.

In a similar way, our homes need to be a place of refuge from the evils of the world.  Our homes should provide an atmosphere in which our family and friends find a place of comfort and a reprieve from the stresses of the world. Our homes need to be a place of peace instead of strife, calm instead of chaos, an atmosphere of nurturing instead of nagging.

Prov. 27:15,16 
“A continual dropping in a very rainy day 
And a contentious woman are alike: 
He that would restrain her restraineth the wind; 
And his right hand encountereth oil.”

You’ve heard the expression “When momma?s not happy, nobody?s happy!” Like it or not, we have great influence on the mood that is in our home. Remember that the worthy woman has the law of kindness is on her tongue.

When children are little, parents put a lot of effort into making sure that their environment is safe. But we also need to think about spiritual protection of our family, as well as those who visit in our homes. It’s difficult enough to resist evil influences when we are out and about, but what about in our homes? In some cases it seems like Satan has come knocking on the door, and instead of telling him to go away, we say come on in. Our homes should not be places where we expose, desensitize, and tempt people to sin, but rather a place where our family and our friends can feel safe spiritually, a place to have a reprieve from the evil influences of the world.

What kind of home environment have you created?  Do you invite Satan to dwell in your home?  Or, is your home a SAFE HAVEN, a place of refuge from the evils of the world; a place where all who come there can feel safe, because Jesus lives there?

November 4th, 2010 | Tags: , | Category: Bible, Family, Parenting | Comments are closed
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